With the prevalence of social media on our minds, we asked ALSO’s Erika Lozada (Youth Leader) and Gina Rivera (Youth Advocate) for their insights on social media, dating, and healthy relationships among teens and young adults. Read what these young women had to teach us about social media dating violence below.

How and why would a young person talk about their relationship through social media?

Social media serves as a way to make people aware of a relationship and relationship status (single, married, swingers and open relationships, pictures etc.). It is a public outlet for teens to express how they feel about their partners and/or their relationships. Social media offers a way to show appreciation and admiration of partners (e.g. Woman Crush Wednesday, Man Crush Monday).

What effects can social media have on their relationships?

For those who are in long distance relationships, social media is a way to keep in contact with one another and maintain that emotional tie with one another. It is also a way to ask someone out or to end a relationship.

Ok, so social media can help start, manage, and end relationships. Why else would someone use social media in their relationship?

The importance of social media and the role it plays in relationships serves as a way to validate faithfulness and commitment (to make sure their partner is not cheating through social media). Some may “catfish”* their partner to see if they will cheat.

Catfishing your partner doesn’t sound healthy.

Social media is a gate keeper for much of relationship dynamics for teens and young adults, and abusive relationship dynamics play out on social media.

What are some of the ways young people use social media to abuse their partners?

Partners control the friends and followers on their boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s social media accounts (Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram). Partners often require access to all accounts so they are able to investigate whenever they want to. Partners decide what pictures, comments and statuses they will allow their boyfriend/girlfriend to post (profile or cover photo may be of them to state claim of their partners). If there is something that is not supposed to be posted (like a comment or picture) it may ruin and end a relationship (it can ruin the trust and honesty in a relationship).

Thank you, Erika and Gina, for enlightening us on social media dating violence and young people. Your insights help the field improve programming and services for youth around teen dating violence.

If you’re reading this blog and you or someone you know might be experiencing social media dating violence, resources and services are available locally (Between Friends) and nationally (Break the Cycle and Loveisrespect). 

*A “catfish” is “a person who sets up a false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catfish).